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Need Advice?

Send us your underage drinking-related questions and we'll post the answers here! (We will only post questions anonymously, and we will not keep your e-mail address. Please note that we may not be able to post all of the questions we receive).

My friends say that drinking alcohol is no big deal. Everybody is doing it, and I should, too. What should I do?

People try to get me to drink at parties. I don't want to break the law or violate my parents' trust, but I don't want to be seen as a "square" who doesn't do what everyone else does. How can I do the right thing?

I'm shy and have a hard time making friends. The idea of going out on a date makes me break into a sweat. Someone told me that a drink or two would give me more confidence and lower my inhibitions. Is this true?

I started drinking with my friends whenever we got together away from our parents. Now I want to drink even when I'm by myself. I wonder if I am turning into an alcoholic. How can I find out?

I did something stupid when I was drinking with my friends recently. Now some of them treat me differently and aren't as friendly as they used to be. What should I do?

Some friends of mine do things I know they don't mean to do whenever they drink. I don't want to get them in trouble or be a snitch. What can I do to help them?

Some adults in my family drink too much and act badly. They don't think their drinking is a problem, but I do. Their drinking bothers me a lot. What can I do?

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Advice: Is Drinking No Big Deal?

My friends say that drinking alcohol is no big deal. Everybody is doing it, and I should, too. What should I do?

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A. First, be assured that the great majority (84.1 percent) of 12- to 17-year-old youth do not drink.1

Alcohol plays a significant role in risky behavior, various types of injuries, and suicide.2

Remember, too, that underage drinking is illegal. If you are caught drinking, you could delay your chance of getting a driver's license or lose the one you already have. You could also be barred from playing on an athletic team.

Learn about some of the myths and facts about drinking (PDF 1.26MB)

 


Advice: What's Right?

People try to get me to drink at parties. I don't want to break the law or violate my parents' trust, but I don't want to be seen as a "square" who doesn't do what everyone else does. How can I do the right thing?

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Make sure you know what the consequences will be if parents, police, and other adults find out that you have been drinking.

Learn more about peer pressure and how to resist it.

Get more information about the facts and risks of underage drinking.


Advice: Will Alcohol Make Me Less Shy?

I'm shy and have a hard time making friends. The idea of going out on a date makes me break into a sweat. Someone told me that a drink or two would give me more confidence and lower my inhibitions. Is this true?

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A. Some drinkers feel less shy and ill at ease with others...temporarily.3 However, alcohol impairs judgment4 so that drinkers often do things they wouldn't consider doing if sober. Their behavior can lead to embarrassment, regret, serious trouble, even tragedy.

"Just about everybody feels shy sometimes," says Dr. Colleen Sherman in an article on shyness. If you're looking for more information on shyness, healthfinder.gov is a good place to go when you want reliable information on any health topic. Just type "shy" or "shyness" into the Search box.

Talk with a parent or another adult you trust about your feelings. School counselors and nurses know where you can find help. So do ministers, priests, rabbis, and other faith leaders.

Before you try alcohol to change the way you feel, take a look at this game.


Advice: Am I an Alcoholic?

I started drinking with my friends whenever we got together away from our parents. Now I want to drink even when I'm by myself. I wonder if I am turning into an alcoholic? How can I find out?

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You're doing the smart thing by finding out now. People at any age may discover that what seemed like great fun isn't so much fun anymore, doesn't feel right, and might be turning into a problem.

This test will help you recognize if you are on your way to having a serious problem with alcohol.

If you score high enough when you submit your confidential quiz responses, you will go to another page that explains what you can do next.


Advice: I Did Something Stupid. What Now?

I did something stupid when I was drinking with my friends recently. Now some of them treat me differently and aren't as friendly as they used to be. What should I do?

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Perhaps you said or did something that was embarrassing or unkind or annoying. Friends will probably accept your apology and your sincere promise to not do anything like this again.

Maybe you broke something. You need to repair the damage, pay for someone else to fix it, or replace the item. And you should offer a sincere apology.

Doing "something stupid" under the influence of alcohol can also mean something much more serious, such as crime and violence, exposure to HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, driving under the influence, and other dangerous acts. Talk with your parent or another adult you trust and ask for help. Or, call this 24-hour toll-free helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357).


Advice: How Can I Help My Friends?

Some friends of mine do things I know they don't mean to do whenever they drink. I don't want to get them in trouble or be a snitch. What can I do to help them?

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It isn't snitching to get help for someone who may be in trouble because of drinking. About 5,000 underage drinkers die every year. A lot of them die in highway crashes. But many others die from alcohol poisoning or from trying to do something dangerous while they are impaired.

A friend with a drinking problem is in trouble already and needs help before the problem worsens or leads to tragedy. Visit CoolSpot's list of resources or FreeVibe's Step Up To Help a Friend page to make a difference in your friend's life.


Advice: How Do I Handle Adults Who Drink Too Much?

Some adults in my family drink too much and act badly. They don't think their drinking is a problem, but I do. Their drinking bothers me a lot. What can I do?

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By age 18, one in four kids in the United States has lived with a family member who has an alcohol problem. You are not alone. Get the facts about alcoholism so you will understand that you are not the reason it's going on and that you are not responsible for your family's problems.

Find out how to be ready if and when the adult drinkers are willing to get the help they need.

Get more tips on what to do if someone in your family has a drinking problem.

Alcoholism tends to run in families. If you are a member of a family with a history of alcohol problems, you need to avoid underage drinking. Children of alcoholics are 4 to 10 times more likely to become alcoholics themselves than children from families with no alcoholic adults. You need to be familiar with your family history and aware of your risks.


Sources

1 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2008). Results from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health 2007: National Findings. Figure 3.1.

2 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the Surgeon General. (2007). Surgeon General's Call to Action To Prevent and Reduce Underage Drinking (PDF 1.41MB).

3 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Mental Health Services. Blamed and Ashamed: The Treatment Experiences of Youth With Co-occurring Substance Abuse and Mental Health Disorders and Their Families.

4 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Alcohol: Frequently Asked Questions.




Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Substance Abuse Prevention Stop Alcohol Abuse Reach Out Now Teach-In



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Updated on 3/10/2009